The Commonwealth of Ump14 is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its daily referendums, zero percent divorce rate, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.002 billion Ump14ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 66.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Ump14ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,510 trillion Dollars a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 215,674 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

Kids are arrested at gunpoint for playing with toy rifles, every week is blindness awareness week, gun-wielding gangsters sometimes deal death from as far as ten paces away, and colonial citizens are forced to sing the praise of the "Great Ump14ian Liberator". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump14's national animal is the Black Widow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ump14 is ranked 22,818^th in the world and 1,470^th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 7,502.98 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.