The Republic of Southern Hand is a massive, genial nation, notable for its public floggings, rampant corporate plagiarism, and fear of technology. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 4.064 billion Southern Handians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Education. The average income tax rate is 40.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Southern Handian economy, worth 162 trillion Dollars a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 40,024 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Terrorist videos start by thanking their sponsors, tourists visit Southern Hand to mass-moon Southern Handian politicians, the annual budget is heralded by the Treasury Minister donning a fake plastic mustache and giant star-shaped glasses, and maximum security fish farms leave caged salmon pining for the fjords. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Southern Hand's national animal is the Eagle.

Southern Hand is ranked 13,371^st in the world and 1^st in The Northern Yankees for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 54.3 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.