The Incorporated States of Second Best Pack Storage 59 is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, disturbing lack of elderly people, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.402 billion Second Best Pack Storage 59ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 91.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Pack Storage 59ian economy, worth 970 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 151,577 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Crowded passenger trains are near-silent save for the soft tap of fingers on touchscreens, meat-eating is frowned upon, the nation is known abroad for fast food and nothing else, and volunteers trip over themselves to get into the latest mind-bending drug trials. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Pack Storage 59's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Pack Storage 59 is ranked 255,444^th in the world and 1,772^nd in Two for Most Primitive, scoring -171.26 on the Scary Big Number Scale.