The Secret Detective of Old Bendicion is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Ben with an even hand, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, smutty television, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, devout population of 2.831 billion Bendians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bendianii Kaliptzy. The average income tax rate is 39.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Old Bendicionian economy, worth 246 trillion Dolleuros a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 87,085 Dolleuros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government seizes the property of the recently deceased, children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police, and the government tries not to listen to the people unless it absolutely has to. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Bendicion's national animal is the Bendian Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Old Bendicion is ranked 246,061^st in the world and 7,074^th in Osiris for Fattest Citizens, with 8.55 Obesity Rate.