The People's New Democracy of New Cyprus is a gargantuan, cultured nation, renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 45.318 billion Kyzians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Social Policy, Education, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 90.8%.

The frighteningly efficient New Cyprusian economy, worth a remarkable 6,269 trillion Nova York Euros a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Gambling, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 138,350 Nova York Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail, euthanasia is legal, elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates, and elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-Nova York Euro mansions. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. New Cyprus's national animal is the Rabbit, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

New Cyprus is ranked 260,411^th in the world and 7^th in Greater Nova York for Most Primitive, scoring -189.74 on the Scary Big Number Scale.