The Commonwealth of Melon Heads is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Doge Egusi with an even hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.054 billion Melon Heads enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ianatus. The average income tax rate is 65.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Melon Head economy, worth 230 trillion Pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,489 Pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens are allowed to rise or fall based on their own merits, social networking sites have discussion groups devoted to planning terrorist attacks, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, and prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Melon Heads's national animal is the Possum, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Melon Heads is ranked 83,719^th in the world and 6^th in The Pristine Wilderness for Lowest Crime Rates, with 67.44 law-abiding acts per hour.