The Kingdom of Loop Quantum Gravity is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Eeriana the Omnipotent with an iron fist, and renowned for its strictly enforced bedtime, parental licensing program, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 36.773 billion Loop Quantum Gravityians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order and Education are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of String Theory. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Loop Quantum Gravityian economy, worth an astonishing 16,463 trillion quarks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 447,699 quarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government is hounded to provide tissues whenever the feelings of the Dàguó people are hurt, Widow Twankey complains about being "cancelled", all facts are created equal, and scientists take credit every time it rains in Balder. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Loop Quantum Gravity's national animal is the fire dragon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Gospel of Merlin.

Loop Quantum Gravity is ranked 331,704^th in the world and 17,880^th in Balder for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 16.02 on the Bus Surprisal Index.