The Unitarian State of Lodhs beard is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by VID Frederick Malkin with an iron fist, and renowned for its sprawling nuclear power plants, complete lack of prisons, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 9.047 billion Loddhists are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Lodhinburg. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Lodhs beardian economy, worth a remarkable 3,321 trillion Loddhist Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 367,143 Loddhist Pounds, with the richest citizens earning 6.2 times as much as the poorest.

Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly, psychiatrists bizarrely accompany VID Frederick Malkin to meetings with foreign heads of state, private businesses are paving paradises to put up parking lots, and many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Lodhs beard's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Lodhs beard is ranked 285,326^th in the world and 2^nd in The Scholastic Students for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -25.88 on the Clooney Contribution Index.