The Heiliger Eisenstaat of Kampf Empire is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Gemütlich the Joyous with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, frequent executions, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 7.259 billion Imperial Citizens are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neue Königsberg. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Kampf Empirean economy, worth a remarkable 2,472 trillion Imperial Marcks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 340,589 Imperial Marcks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The monarch frequently needs protecting from misfiring protection, the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings", AI nannies tell children who refuse to go to bed that "my logic is undeniable", and the once prosperous capital is in utter decline. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kampf Empire's national animal is the Kampfian Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Týrism.

Kampf Empire is ranked 164,313^th in the world and 5,334^th in The East Pacific for Most Conservative, scoring 39.58 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.