The Republic of John5 is a tiny, socially progressive nation, renowned for its state-planned economy, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The democratic, devout population of 9 million John5ians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 49.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The struggling John5ian economy, worth 174 billion rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Woodchip Exports, Soda Sales, Book Publishing, and Pizza Delivery. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 19,352 rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The shark is a protected species, children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life, citizens select which government department gets their income tax rubles each year, and burnt-out forty-foot-tall wicker men dot the countryside. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. John5's national animal is the shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

John5 is ranked 134,256^th in the world and 203^rd in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 1,176.81 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.