The Queendom of Future Back Problems is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Jordan Carver with an even hand, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, prohibition of alcohol, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, cheerful population of 12.366 billion Future Back Problemsians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lower Back Problems. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Future Back Problemsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,362 trillion Back Braces a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology. Average income is an impressive 191,014 Back Braces, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Ministry of Health has reported a sharp increase in the incidence of delayed menopause, hostage-takers offer loyalty scheme points for prompt payment, citizens know never to accept cookies from strangers, and older AIs regularly threaten to send newer generation AIs to Reform Programming if caught rounding up instead of down. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Future Back Problems's national animal is the Chiropractor, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Va Va Voom.

Future Back Problems is ranked 2,929^th in the world and 9^th in Conch Kingdom for Most Cultured, scoring 217 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.