The Incorporated States of Function Key is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its closed borders. The quiet, industrious population of 1.994 billion Function Keyians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. The average income tax rate is 26.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Function Keyian economy, worth 82.7 trillion Keys a year, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 41,478 Keys, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Code enforcement officers circle wealthy Function Keyians like vultures, search and rescue forces now accept cheques and all major credit cards, windows in Function Key City don't have much of a view, and internet trolls are considered valiant supporters of the right to free speech. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Function Key's national animal is the Caps, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Function Key is ranked 139,771^st in the world and 25^th in Boston for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 1,586.99 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.