The Republic of Evil Returns is a mammoth, cultured nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, prohibition of alcohol, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 7.003 billion Evil Returnsians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Law & Order, and Defense are also considered important. The average income tax rate is 49.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Evil Returnsian economy, worth 321 trillion baht a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 45,784 baht, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Devotion to God is only skin-deep, politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental, inter-species marriages are ignored by the government, and citizens are encouraged to show displeasure with politicians by poking them with sharp metal sticks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Evil Returns's national animal is the emu.

Evil Returns is ranked 79,935^th in the world and 3^rd in Aslai for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 3,773.28 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.