The Republic of Inner Ted Imazahvatia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Grand Director with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, free-roaming dinosaurs, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.745 billion Imazahvatians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gem city. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Imazahvatian economy, worth 789 trillion Gems a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 166,380 Gems, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

From the highest mountain to the deepest cave - one can always count on finding a good cell signal in Inner Ted Imazahvatia, invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days, Imazahvatians are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks, and people think "siege mentality" is a positive trait. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Inner Ted Imazahvatia's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Inner Ted Imazahvatia is ranked 1,580^th in the world and 22^nd in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 105.37 flags saluted per person per day.