The Holy Empire of Diocean School is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Patriarch-Headmaster Ronnieus Barneius with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, avowedly heterosexual populace, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 1.836 billion Diocesans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Administration, with Education, Defense, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schoole Halle. The average income tax rate is 91.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Diocean Schoolian economy, worth 250 trillion DC forms a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 136,259 DC forms, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

School history books often refer to Patriarch-Headmaster Ronnieus Barneius as "that imperialist pig dog", the aims of top-secret Diocean Schoolian science projects revolve around designing the perfect robot woman, paranoid museum guards keep a lookout for any animated displays attempting to escape the premises after dark, and no-one bats an eye when 'really good platonic friends' of the same sex hold hands in Diocean School. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Diocean School's national animal is the coffee-fueled student, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Diocean School is ranked 10,583^rd in the world and 1^st in Basileia Rhomania for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 5,294.74 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.