The State of Caulfeild is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by the Governor with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 45.879 billion Caulfeildians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital Heights. The average income tax rate is 15.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The enormous but inefficient Caulfeildian economy, worth a remarkable 1,185 trillion betales a year, is quite specialized and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 25,836 betales, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military frequently holds bake sales to raise funds, Caulfeild has designated Capital Heights as its capital city, The Governor has just been declared ruler of Caulfeild in an international press conference, and a major religion has been named as Caulfeild's national religion. Crime is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Caulfeild's national animal is the deer, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Caulfeild is ranked 92,998^th in the world and 2^nd in Virginia for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 34.72 on the Bus Surprisal Index.