The Historical Republic of Calvinist Geneva is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Protestant Reformer John Calvin with an even hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 26.941 billion Genevans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The tiny government is dominated by the Department of Spirituality, with Defense and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Geneva. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Genevese economy, worth a remarkable 4,399 trillion Geneva Thalers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Door-to-door Insurance Sales industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Cheese Exports, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an impressive 163,319 Geneva Thalers, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 543,585 per year while the poor average 36,564, a ratio of 14.9 to 1.

Soldiers go to war dressed in cassocks and robes, the nation's Medal of Honour can be found as a free toy in breakfast cereal, government policy is dictated by Calvinism, and only the wealthy vote. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Calvinist Geneva's national animal is the eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Calvinism.

Calvinist Geneva is ranked 227,899^th in the world and 8,373^rd in Osiris for Most Beautiful Environments, with 417.59 pounds of wildlife per square mile.