The Free Land of Cafevodka is a gargantuan, genial nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and daily referendums. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 26.053 billion Cafevodkans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cafevodka City. The average income tax rate is 90.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cafevodkan economy, worth a remarkable 2,968 trillion Vodka Bottles a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Gambling and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 113,940 Vodka Bottles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Leader is strangely popular with male politicians' wives, there is an abondance of ackawi and zartschmelzend in every Cafevodkan grocery store, delivery truck companies use hospital parking lots to store 16-wheelers, and citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cafevodka's national animal is the Drunkard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cafevodka is ranked 8,883^rd in the world and 439^th in Balder for Highest Food Quality, scoring 168.9 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.