The Westphalia Slime of Basic Bench is a mammoth, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate, keen interest in outer space, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-working, devout population of 6.29 billion Basic Benchians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Nest. The average income tax rate is 28.0%.

The powerhouse Basic Benchian economy, worth 469 trillion brancheses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 74,563 brancheses, with the richest citizens earning 5.0 times as much as the poorest.

Back-alley circumcision clinics are popping up all over the nation, Leader is worshipped as a god, citizens are tied down and forced to watch educational videos on empathy, and all statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Basic Bench's national animal is the Black Hawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Basic Bench is ranked 165,824^th in the world and 8,364^th in Osiris for Rudest Citizens, with 48.4 insults per minute.