The Federal Republic of Meelducan is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Doctor Donald Johnson with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 16.279 billion Meelducanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kennedy City. The average income tax rate is 88.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Meelducanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,521 trillion Children of the Crashes a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 93,435 Children of the Crashes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Soldiers on first dates introduce themselves only by their ranks and serial numbers, the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop, children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban, and feeling like a winner comes at a price. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Meelducan's national animal is the Hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Meelducan is ranked 17,547^th in the world and 993^rd in Balder for Nicest Citizens, with 23.8 average smiles per day.