The Empire of Layarteb is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the Emperor with an even hand, and remarkable for its national health service, complete absence of social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 49.852 billion Columbians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and look forward to their next free and open election, to be held on an as-yet unannounced date.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Columbia City. The average income tax rate is 1.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Layartebian economy, worth an astonishing 10,939 trillion Columbian dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 219,443 Columbian dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

City-slickers are jelly of all the farmland the government is giving away, lifelong celibates are surprised to receive government-issue condoms in the post, it turns out that trees grow on Columbian dollars, and the nation's generous tax credits have brought all the film studios to the yard. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. Layarteb's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Layarteb is ranked 331,317^th in the world and 13^th in New York for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -50.7 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.