The Most Serene Republic of Kaiserholt is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Censor Perpetuo Elena Lampronius with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, ritual sacrifices, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 30.735 billion Cives are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caer Lochweald. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.4%.

The frighteningly efficient of the Holt economy, worth a remarkable 5,068 trillion Equuses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 164,900 Equuses, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,052,654 per year while the poor average 10,610, a ratio of 99.2 to 1.

The government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong, Caer Lochweald is a police state during international summits, you can be fired for dying grey hairs, and the clergy of Universal Temple of the Olympian Apostás remains a single-sex institution. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Kaiserholt's national animal is the Silver Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Universal Temple of the Olympian Apostás.

Kaiserholt is ranked 105,035^th in the world and 124^th in The Land of Kings and Emperors for Most Conservative, scoring 65.92 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.