The Most Serene Republic of Kaiserholt is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Censor Perpetuo Elena Lampronius with an iron fist, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, daily referendums, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.787 billion Holtii are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Caer Lochweald. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.6%.

The frighteningly efficient of the Holt economy, worth a remarkable 2,493 trillion Equuses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 157,970 Equuses, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 927,036 per year while the poor average 12,574, a ratio of 73.7 to 1.

Abortion is only legal in unusual circumstances, the government maintains a Department of Skulduggery, the well-to-do in The Land of Kings and Emperors are never on time for important appointments, and picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Kaiserholt's national animal is the Silver Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Universal Temple of the Olympian Apostás.

Kaiserholt is ranked 24,422^nd in the world and 32^nd in The Land of Kings and Emperors for Highest Crime Rates, with 14.19 Crimes Per Hour.