The People's Republic of Hurtful Thoughts is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and remarkable for its enslaved workforce, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 45.313 billion Hurties are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Hurtian economy, worth a remarkable 9,213 trillion thoughts a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 203,320 thoughts, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,385,148 per year while the poor average 10,857, a ratio of 127 to 1.

Citizens are constantly disappointed to find their nuisance neighbours are still alive, children gain their first sex education from reading the dictionary, the government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, and religious households enthusiastically use whips in private. Crime is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Hurtful Thoughts's national animal is the dodo, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Hurtful Thoughts is ranked 301,779^th in the world and 4,125^th in the South Pacific for Nicest Citizens, with 0.25 average smiles per day.