The People's Republic of Hurtful Thoughts is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, frequent executions, and daily referendums. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 45.918 billion Hurties are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Hurtian economy, worth a remarkable 9,399 trillion thoughts a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 204,702 thoughts, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,383,293 per year while the poor average 11,202, a ratio of 123 to 1.

The Hurtful Thoughts City Film Festival recently voted 'Hurti Getting Hit By Football' as best film, pirates armed with sonar-guided semi-autonomous torpedos and laser weapons systems are often seen capturing fishing trawlers, farm turkeys are given high doses of antidepressants to take their minds off the holiday season, and crime is on the rise as online youths compete to vlog the most shocking scenes of violence. Crime is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Hurtful Thoughts's national animal is the dodo, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Hurtful Thoughts is ranked 5,615^th in the world and 168^th in the South Pacific for Rudest Citizens, with 160.67 insults per minute.