The Holy Republic of GarryOwen is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Garry Owen with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, zero percent divorce rate, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 42.077 billion Nationals are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The minute, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Spirituality, with Defense and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mayberry. Income tax is unheard of.

The strong National economy, worth a remarkable 6,421 trillion bushels a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Pizza Delivery, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 152,609 bushels, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 474,862 per year while the poor average 37,709, a ratio of 12.6 to 1.

Big Beef has a steak in national politics, the invisible hand of the market wipes babies' bottoms, sweat stains are proof of political acumen, and woodland critters flock to the safety of unfamiliar humans wearing lab-coats. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. GarryOwen's national animal is the Trash Panda, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Gott Mit Uns.

GarryOwen is ranked 281,120^th in the world and 3^rd in Northern Europe for Nudest, with 39.25 cheeks per square mile.