The Republic of Garifunya is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Immanuel Prins with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, smutty television, and public floggings. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 20.913 billion Garifunyans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, corrupt, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Frederykvil. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Garifunyaan economy, worth a remarkable 3,348 trillion Giyldaars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 160,105 Giyldaars, with the richest citizens earning 9.0 times as much as the poorest.

Scaffolding is built around scaffolding to give safe access, murderers and thieves claim divine inspiration to avoid prosecution, bemused schoolkids colour in their favourite quadratic equations with crayons, and all you have to do is pray to get into Garifunya. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Garifunya's national animal is the Dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Garifunya is ranked 62,331^st in the world and 2,302^nd in Osiris for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 3,981.54 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.