The Despotic Dictatorship of Despoticania is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by The Despot with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, vat-grown people, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 43.988 billion Despoticanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Despoticania Prime. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Despoticanian economy, worth a staggering 57,780 trillion Despollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,313,550 Despollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Agriculture is heavily subsidized by the government, the nation's streets have become a winter wonderland of salt and sand, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field, and government officials who do an offal job get smoked. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Despoticania's national animal is the Winged Unicorn Pig, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Transcendental Hatred.

Despoticania is ranked 333,076^th in the world and 43^rd in The Alliance of Dictators for Highest Drug Use, scoring 0.17 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.