The Jingoistic States of Crustyland is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by Cristine Derpmen with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 12.752 billion Crustylandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rannk. The average income tax rate is 56.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Crustylandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,060 trillion bonners a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Cheese Exports, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 83,171 bonners, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Saying "don't do anything that Cristine Derpmen wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal, we all come from the sea, practising saying 'how now brown cow' is an essential part of holiday planning, and crossing the road requires a risk assessment. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crustyland's national animal is the Male Bull Elephant Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Christianity.

Crustyland is ranked 90,098^th in the world and 604^th in The North Pacific for Largest Black Market, with 3.17 trillion Standard Monetary Units.