The Dollar Store Republic of Comestiqua is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Chudlord with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The quiet, industrious population of 3.589 billion circlejerkers are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dollar Store Vegas. The average income tax rate is 77.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Comestiquan economy, worth 327 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 91,174 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Caps with skulls on them are the height of fashion, people who have had childhood imaginary friends are told they can't ever be trusted with guns, children complain that school food is too flavorful, and history textbook pages are used as impromptu tissues by distraught students. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Comestiqua's national animal is the ant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Circlejerkism.

Comestiqua is ranked 31,331^st in the world and 1,746^th in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 90.05 years.