The Federal Republic of Calva is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Virginia Rodopoulos with an even hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 27.587 billion Calvans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Agios Górtyna. The average income tax rate is 95.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Calvan economy, worth a remarkable 6,094 trillion Goas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an amazing 220,937 Goas, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

Diminutive Calvan generals are feared for their aggressiveness, scientists on maritime expeditions return with a healthy glow, The Agios Górtyna State Museum is said to be haunted by ghastly musicians playing 'Nearer Violet to Thee', and the most notorious criminals are given the Consequences of Your Actions Award. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calva's national animal is the Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Greek Orthodox.

Calva is ranked 1,668^th in the world and 10^th in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Highest Food Quality, scoring 289.53 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.