The Federal Republic of Calva is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Virginia Rodopoulos with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, sprawling nuclear power plants, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 24.082 billion Calvans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Agios Górtyna. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Calvan economy, worth a remarkable 5,258 trillion Goas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 218,371 Goas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 627,895 per year while the poor average 60,356, a ratio of 10.4 to 1.

Nude art is becoming wildly popular, the government response to disaster victims starving for bread is "let them eat stale cake", college-level writing classes are taught by undergraduate editors of the school newspaper, and teenage male videogamers often suffer repetitive strain wrist injuries. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calva's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Greek Orthodox.

Calva is ranked 312,683^rd in the world and 155^th in The Glorious Nations of Iwaku for Most Primitive, scoring -628.26 on the Scary Big Number Scale.