The Tired Old Fella of Ardenyan is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Ibrahim Gomenz with an iron fist, and renowned for its daily referendums, national health service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 4.077 billion Ardenyanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Administration, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Itadurhan. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 56.7%.

The all-consuming Ardenyanian economy, worth 384 trillion Nambas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Pizza Delivery, and Gambling. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 94,237 Nambas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 287,001 per year while the poor average 24,015, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

The government merely sends empty platitudes whenever natural disasters strike foreign nations, citizens are tied down and forced to watch educational videos on empathy, politicians are losing their jobs in a plan to make the government 'leaner and fitter', and citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ardenyan's national animal is the Elu'Chap Naka, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ardenyan is ranked 88,312^th in the world and 1,668^th in The North Pacific for Longest Average Lifespans, with 75 years.