The I do not celebrate xmas of Ardenyan is a huge, cultured nation, notable for its keen interest in outer space, aversion to nipples, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 531 million Ardenyanians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sokoyama. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 51.3%.

The all-consuming Ardenyanian economy, worth 44.0 trillion Namkas a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Pizza Delivery, and Tourism. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 82,886 Namkas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 295,477 per year while the poor average 16,723, a ratio of 17.7 to 1.

Religious bigotry is not allowed but bigotry against theism is encouraged, being able to unblock a u-bend pipe is considered a universally essential skill, the nation is known abroad mostly for its Parliamentary antics, and Jennifer Government is banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ardenyan's national animal is the Elu'Chap Naka, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ardenyan is ranked 32,459^th in the world and 40^th in The League for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 295,477 Standard Monetary Units.