The Dark Cherry Mystery of Applebania is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Barry down the pub with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, vat-grown people, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.065 billion Applebanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Welfare, Healthcare, and Social Policy also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Galaxius. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Applebanian economy, worth a remarkable 2,424 trillion Applebanian Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 134,236 Applebanian Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Brown Sugar 101 is a popular course at community colleges, military equipment stores have a tendency to go up in flames, nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, and the term cold case has taken on a very literal meaning. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Applebania's national animal is the Jolteon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Applebania is ranked 330,783^rd in the world and 2,387^th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -22.4 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.