The Republic of -Astoria is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Prime Minister Robert Paisley with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 16.417 billion Astorians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Liskerry. The average income tax rate is 81.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Astorian economy, worth a remarkable 1,336 trillion pynts a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is 81,402 pynts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Tourists call Astorian beach towns "the fine coastline", companies have begun running campaigns to stop people from remembering their brand name, weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law, and funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. -Astoria's national animal is the marten, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

-Astoria is ranked 93,655^th in the world and 23^rd in International Democratic Union for Highest Drug Use, scoring 187.87 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.