The Republic of -Astoria is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Prime Minister Robert Paisley with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.824 billion Astorians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Footscray. The average income tax rate is 58.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Astorian economy, worth 248 trillion Astorian dollars a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Basket Weaving, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 88,023 Astorian dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, third party candidates are now gaining some representation in Parliament, the government is spending millions on renovating the public transportation system, and Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. Crime is totally unknown. -Astoria's national animal is the quokka, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

-Astoria is ranked 33,899^th in the world and 50^th in International Democratic Union for Most Stationary, with 435.52879765028 Days.