The Republic of Zhytine is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Eevaan Tnikovzhet with an even hand, and notable for its avant-garde cinema, public floggings, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 5.835 billion Zhytinians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kovzhy. The average income tax rate is 48.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Zhytinean economy, worth 383 trillion Zhytinaklovats a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Basket Weaving, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 65,661 Zhytinaklovats, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Zhytinean Arts Council pays teenagers to sit through opera performances, there's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services, CSI Forest is this year's hit new crime show, and the television adaptation of Jennifer Government is the most popular program in the nation. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zhytine's national animal is the Dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Eastern Orthodox.

Zhytine is ranked 194,515^th in the world and 6,390^th in Osiris for Most Primitive, scoring -78.67 on the Scary Big Number Scale.