The Zolk of Zalk is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Zeno Zalk with an even hand, and notable for its ban on automobiles and suspicion of poets. The compassionate population of 24.806 billion Zalkians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zalkya. The average income tax rate is 44.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Zalkian economy, worth 593 trillion Zals a year, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 23,938 Zals, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail, Zalk has designated Zalkya as its capital city, and Zeno Zalk has just been declared ruler of Zalk in an international press conference. Crime is totally unknown. Zalk's national animal is the horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Zalkism.

Zalk is ranked 163,710^th in the world and 2^nd in BJKB for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 449.33 on the Gilded Widget Scale.