The Communal Assembly of Tiftzania is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Chairman Caleb Schneider with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.498 billion Tiftzanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tiftenburg. The average income tax rate is 86.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Tiftzanian economy, worth 392 trillion Tifts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is dominated by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Tourism. Average income is 87,177 Tifts, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens praise the weeds that overwhelm their narrow vegetable realm, the media seems excessively interested in what Chairman Caleb Schneider is wearing this season, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, and recognizing the Tiftzanian flag qualifies you for citizenship. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tiftzania's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tiftzania is ranked 280,221^st in the world and 10,614^th in Lazarus for Most Armed, with 0.15 weapons per person.