The Republic of Thorn498 is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, avowedly heterosexual populace, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.594 billion Thorn498ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important, while International Aid and Social Policy receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.2%.

The strong Thorn498ian economy, worth 100 trillion guilders a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 62,743 guilders, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Phone taps are frequently carried out by the police, every day has been a surprise since weather reporters turned to consulting ancient totems for their seven-day forecasts, society and government have been organized according to a feudal hierarchy, and small businesses are gobbled up almost daily by corporate giants. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Thorn498's national animal is the cobra, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Thorn498 is ranked 198,435^th in the world and 4,800^th in Suspicious for Highest Food Quality, scoring 12.07 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.