The Republic of Thorn329 is a massive, orderly nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, disturbing lack of elderly people, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.756 billion Thorn329ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 50.2%.

The all-consuming Thorn329ian economy, worth 254 trillion pounds a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 92,187 pounds, with the richest citizens earning 7.2 times as much as the poorest.

Victims of limb-mauling industrial accidents are told to keep working with their remaining hand, dancing with your first cousin is a misdemeanor, new safety regulations require all cars manufactured in Thorn329 to be bombproof, and the government invades its allies more than its enemies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorn329's national animal is the beaver, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Thorn329 is ranked 255,536^th in the world and 7,628^th in Suspicious for Highest Food Quality, scoring 7.29 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.