The Republic of Thorn249 is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, daily referendums, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 3.308 billion Thorn249ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 27.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Thorn249ian economy, worth 360 trillion francs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 108,977 francs, with the richest citizens earning 8.0 times as much as the poorest.

Parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list, citizens simply have to point a weapon at a government official to get what they want, government employees have reverted to carrier pigeon due to never-ending virus scans, and escargots have lost their charm ever since they started to be called 'cooked land snails'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorn249's national animal is the elephant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Thorn249 is ranked 54,367^th in the world and 829^th in Suspicious for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 3,618.74 on the Gilded Widget Scale.