The Republic of Thorn2038 is a massive, efficient nation, notable for its infamous sell-swords, aversion to nipples, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.711 billion Thorn2038ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 69.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Thorn2038ian economy, worth 487 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 103,415 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Medical staff can legally quiet people who ask for a second helping of Salisbury steak, politicians bribe ten-year-old geniuses to sit their aptitude tests, welfare recipients are milking the government for all they've got, and airplane passengers who purchase "basic economy" tickets are often assigned seats in the lavatory. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thorn2038's national animal is the falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Thorn2038 is ranked 90,943^rd in the world and 1,575^th in Suspicious for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 281.93 on the Clooney Contribution Index.