The Grand Empire of Teeksaw is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Julian Cesar with an iron fist, and notable for its smutty television, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 4.074 billion Teeksawians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tamaria. The average income tax rate is 46.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Teeksawian economy, worth 627 trillion Teeksmarks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 154,097 Teeksmarks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Unemployed accountants keep double-entry ledgers of their benefit claims, the path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment, the government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines, and polygamy is legal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Teeksaw's national animal is the Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Teeksaw is ranked 230,119^th in the world and 271^st in Conch Kingdom for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 48.04 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.