The Holy Empire of Spainita is a huge, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical population of 574 million Spainitans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Law & Order, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 51.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Spainitan economy, worth 38.1 trillion rupees a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration, Cheese Exports, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 66,337 rupees, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

At least 4 unique companies in Spainita claim to sell Eckie-Cola, weapons are only sold to foreign governments that are legitimate enough to not bounce the cheque, foreign nations kill migratory animals at random in the hope that Spainita will pay them to stop, and the government is deliberately installing bloatware onto computers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Spainita's national animal is the leopard, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Spainita is ranked 227,363^rd in the world and 7,881^st in Osiris for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 48.52 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.