The Grand Duchy of Sexytopia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Jojo Goldin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, state-planned economy, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.656 billion Sexytopians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Neighborhood Bowlingball. The average income tax rate is 90.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Sexytopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,390 trillion Jojoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Woodchip Exports, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 130,466 Jojoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children have taken to using semaphore in light of the recent mobile phone ban, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and commuters and their desktops both bemoan their hard drives. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sexytopia's national animal is the Siamang, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Jimism.

Sexytopia is ranked 17,013^th in the world and 1,074^th in Balder for Highest Poor Incomes, with 99,310.21 Standard Monetary Units.