The Commonwealth of Scooteristan is a massive, cultured nation, renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.411 billion Scooteristas enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Environment, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pookie. The average income tax rate is 86.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Scooteristanian economy, worth 243 trillion grams a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 71,403 grams, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Advertisements read like science journal articles complete with extensive references, exam halls are littered with used needles and empty pill bottles, lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', and banning party poppers has been a real party pooper. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Scooteristan's national animal is the panther, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Scooteristan is ranked 139,525^th in the world and 101^st in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Largest Populations, with 3.41 billion capita.