The Democratic People's Republic of Schmexxland is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Schmexxy with an iron fist, and remarkable for its national health service, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 9.248 billion Schmexxlandians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Schmexxsea. The average income tax rate is 92.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Schmexxlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,293 trillion cremes a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 139,836 cremes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Smog in Schmexxsea is so bad that fresh air bottles are sold by street vendors, government opponents tend to have their patents rejected immediately, political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Schmexxy's throne, and the government considers it a sacred duty to video bikini-clad beach swimmers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schmexxland's national animal is the cigar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Schmexxland is ranked 10,601^st in the world and 627^th in Osiris for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 10,880.9 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.