The Republic of SSN9 is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Daniel O'Connell with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.827 billion SSN9ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Dublin. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 69.2%.

The frighteningly efficient SSN9ian economy, worth 483 trillion bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 171,081 bitcoins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 497,625 per year while the poor average 46,529, a ratio of 10.7 to 1.

Pilots always remember to send their doctors a Maxxmas card, citizens are arrested for naturally producing proteins, appendix transplant figures have recently doubled, and the nation forgives those who are big enough to admit they made a mistake. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. SSN9's national animal is the kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Celtic Paganism.

SSN9 is ranked 281,572^nd in the world and 5,442^nd in the South Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 50 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.