The Republic of Quaraluard is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Prime Minister Lulit Irving with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, prohibition of alcohol, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 15.553 billion Quaraluardians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Spirituality is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Malil. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 83.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Quaraluardian economy, worth a remarkable 1,951 trillion Umrions a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 125,505 Umrions, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list, arthritic surgeons with tremulous fingers reassure patients that they are in safe hands, there's a revolutionary culture in the nation's dairies, and pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Quaraluard's national animal is the polar bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is the Church of Quaraluard.

Quaraluard is ranked 50,750^th in the world and 1,529^th in Lazarus for Most Armed, with 2.2 weapons per person.